--> Regressions can range from a minor increase in accidents to full blown reversal of learning. They can be caused by an obvious big change in life, or simply a developmental leap. Sometimes, you can catch it before it turns into a true regression. If your child has 2-3 accidents back-to-back in underpants/knickers, remove the underwear and go back to commando where possible for a day or so depending on how well established their training is. If they are already commando, remove the pants/trousers until a potty success. See featured post on Transitioning to Block 2 for more ideas on that. A full and true regression requires time working back through the blocks, starting with Block 1. It most likely won’t take as long as the first time around.
--> Regression of Self-Initiation: When you see new signs of holding too long and not making it to the potty in time anymore, you may try prompting more often. If this is met with resistance, stop prompting/reminding altogether and allow the child to start in their pants, but tell them to run to the potty when you see it happening. This child just needs to learn this lesson about waiting too long all on their own. The Resistance Guide will explain this in detail, and provide the next level solutions if needed. https://ohcrapwithashley.com/challenges
--> Sudden Onset of Pee Accidents is often caused by backed up poop. This can lead to the child having to hold tighter to prevent accidents, which leads to pee withholding. The child may begin to struggle to know how to relax and release the muscles needed to pee, and become stressed about release, which leads to more stuck muscles. Then, the pee eventually comes out, either in the sleep diaper or on the floor. In these scenarios, no level of pushing fluids or even removing any external pressures will suffice here. The poop backup needs to be attended to first in order for anything pee related to move forward. See the Poop Progress Guide for help in this scenario. If possible, a consultation is helpful to make a plan specific to your scenario and your child's journey.
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Accidents are just mistakes along the journey of learning. If they are happening here and there with much success in between, there is no need to dwell on them. (*Note: pees on the floor in Block 1 or even that first day in Block 2 in pants are NOT accidents. Those are opportunities for the child and caregiver to learn something and apply that information moving forward.) Either way, feel your shock and disappointment internally for a moment when an accident happens, but do your best to outwardly respond without attaching emotion. (I know, it’s VERY hard. Been there.) A great response is, “Oops! Your pee went on the floor/in pants/undies. That is not where we put it. Next time you’ll get it alllll in the potty.” Clean up and move on. Go let out those pent up emotions about it in private if you can. Feel your feels! Just delay the expression.
Most common places for accidents and learning opportunities:
1. Toddler helper tower
2. Mealtime chair
3. The slide/ladder
4. Nearby the potty
5. Engrossed in play or screens
6. Tantrums/Big Emotions
How to be prepared for it in that first month:
1. Tower: Keep a wide-mouth disposable cup with the helper tower
2. Chair: Ditch the high chair for now. A child who is potty training can be done with the high chair. Have them kneel on the regular chair or stand on a tower until potty training is pretty well established, and then move on to a booster seat where they can have a plate on the table. This is simply a suggestion, not a requirement.
3. Slide: Bring the potty outside. Heighten your senses when the child is choosing to play on the slide. Be ready to help them get some in there, whether you caught some in the potty insert while they stood, or they aren’t bothered by being moved to the potty.
4. Near Potty: After a child clearly needs to pee and tries but can’t seem to let it out, either run around and try again in two minutes, allow them to stand and pee while you catch it in the insert or a cup, or be ready to guide them to sit back down as the pee is coming out. Response to a full accident right by the potty, whether they were trying to make it or not, “Your pee ALMOST made it into the potty. So close! Next time you’ll get it.”
5. Play: Look for signals of holding as they play, and take potty breaks when it has been a while, but help the child stay in “play mode” to get there. If you try to cut into their play momentum (the work of childhood!) you are more likely to get push back. See the post in the featured section entitled, “Resistance and Prompting” and scroll to the bottom of the post for playful prompting ideas. Get creative with your own! Only use screens after a full bladder emptying. It is very hard for a child to listen to their body when screens often create an almost out-of-body experience for children. Expecting otherwise isn’t really fair.
6. Expect lots of "learning opportunities" for pee that first week (they really shouldn't even be called accidents in Block 1 or the first couple days of Block 2).
7. If you are 3-4 weeks in, the child should be having only 2-3 pee accidents per week. If more, it is time to spend more time learning in Block 1. Or, you may be looking at some poop withholding. There are multiple featured posts for poop if needed!
8. Poop accidents need addressing if there is more than 1/week.
--> Dribbles and Half Accidents
Dribbles are a sign of learning taking place, so long as they are followed up by a good potty pee. Dribbles mean the child felt the need to pee, a little escaped, they stopped themselves, and released the full pee on the potty. That is INCREDIBLE control! Dribbles can even count as a child’s “signal” for a while. Just change the wet clothing and thank the child for getting so much pee in the potty. You can add, “we do have to change your undies since they got some pee on them. Next time you’ll get to the potty before your undies are wet” if desired. Or, remove the undies if the pants are dry and just go commando for a while. For consistent dribblers that are doing well in every other way, just grab some training undies with the thicker part to keep the dribbles from reaching the pants.
If the child does not finish peeing on the potty, but just dribbles often all day with minimal actual peeing, you are likely dealing with withholding. Before jumping to the Withholding Protocol, try the steps in the Resistance Guide for a day or two. That may be all you need! Here is a direct link: https://www.ohcrapwithashley.com/challenge-page/a3871b8f-c9c0-4c78-8e15-d66dfb2ff784?programId=a3871b8f-c9c0-4c78-8e15-d66dfb2ff784
If the child is letting out quite a bit of pee in the pants regularly but still letting more out once on the potty, first respond by narrating the situation: “Some pee went in the potty! Thank you! That’s right where pee goes. Some pee went in your pants. Oops! That is not where pee goes. Next time you will get to the potty befoooore the pee comes out. Let’s dump your potty pee and put your wet pants in the wash.” That is long, so shorten and change it based on your child’s language comprehension. This child will either need the same response to full accidents as explained above, or simply more prompting. It is wise to plan in a 2-day refresher to increase awareness or confidence. The Resistance Guide linked above will also help tremendously in this case.
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Regressions and Accident Increases during pregnancy, after baby, three months after baby (baby honeymoon phase is over), or when the child is overwhelmed by “Big Boy/Girl” talk or unrealistic expectations at home or childcare:
These are the most common times for regression, and can be helped by relieving some of the pressure or desire for baby-like attention they might be feeling.
Jamie Glowacki calls it “Mama Love.” Other experts call it “Baby Time” Here's how it works:
Sit on the floor or in your rocking chair and hold your arms out to your child. Entice them to come snuggle however they liked when they were much younger. Use your goofy baby voice and nicknames. Say, “let’s play baby for a few minutes.”
Snuggle your child or hold them like a baby if you can and pretend your child has reverted back to their baby selves. Remember what it was like to hold them back then. Sing little songs and keep conversing in your baby voice. This might feel a bit obnoxious and counterintuitive as you have been so focused on helping the child become a big kid, but it really fills their cup.
Then after a few minutes say, “well, that was fun! Back to __(Name)___!” Refrain from using terminology like “big boy/girl” as they’re probably getting enough of that pressure from everyone around them asking if they’re ready/excited to be a big brother/sister.
Then, ask what kind of ___(name)___ toys they’d like to play with and play for a few more minutes with them as their actual age, and then let them know you have to get back to your daily duties. 🥰
For help specific to your situation, sign up for a call and I can help you get a game plan in place, or provide consistent daily support if needed.
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