Proper Expectations and Responses
Pull-Ups are diapers as far as expectations go. If a child pees or poops in a pull-up or diaper, they are meeting expectations. We can ask a child to keep their pull-up dry for a long car ride, a wedding, or daycare/nursery, and ask them to use the potty for pee and poop. However, if they still wet or dirty the pull-up, there should be no negative consequence. Not even a look of disappointment if you can help it. Make sure daycare/nursery caregivers are aware of this. Peeing or pooping in a pull-up is not a mistake, neither during the day, nor at night. Continue to thank the child when pee and poop land in the potty, but be aware that if they let it all out in the pull-up, they might not have any more to let out. Give them a chance to try just in case.
There is a difference
The difference between pull-ups and diapers is that the child can more easily push them up and down themselves. This can be a benefit in many situations. Some pull-up brands actually have tabs that can be reattached as well. This is helpful if the child keeps it dry and the parent decides to reuse it later.
Many children do feel a difference between pull-ups and diapers. They will actually keep a pull-up dry because they do not see it as a place to release pee and poop. If you have one of these kiddos, be sure to still remove the pull-up when they are not required to wear it.
Caution
A common issue that can develop with pull-ups is leaving the night one on well into the morning. Before doing anything else upon wake-up, the diaper or pull-up should be removed, even if that means leaving them in pajamas commando for a while. If the diaper is left on, the child may become comfortable again with sitting in warm wet pee again. The same goes for arriving home. Remove the diaper or pull-up in the same way you remove shoes, right after you walk in the door.
Training underwear
This is the underwear with a bit of a thicker part in the center. These are meant to catch drips if you have a child who dribbles a bit before calling out to you or running to the potty. They are perfectly fine to use, but can lead to accidents as they can feel like a diaper to many kids. They are not intended to make full accidents less messy. If a child is having accidents in underwear, they should be removed. If the daycare/nursery does not allow commando, a child having multiple accidents in underwear for a week should use a pull-up at daycare and continue commando at home on evenings and weekends. Keeping a child in underwear if they are having multiple accidents a day allows them to begin treating underwear like a diaper.
Swim diapers
These should be used every single time a child swims in a pool until they have gone 6 months with no poop accidents. I have personally used swim diapers in public when my child was having no pee accidents but still struggling with poop and we were experimenting with softening his stools. I did not want to run the risk of my child having diarrhea on the floor of someone’s place of business.
Nighttime pull-ups
Many parents ask if it makes a difference what the child wears to bed if not day and night training at the same time. The expectations of the child are the same, whether in diapers or pull-ups, and no child should be expected to keep a diaper or pull-up dry, rewarded for doing so, or shown disappointment for wetting or dirtying it. However, many parents want to ditch the diapers and then not bring them back out before bed. Instead, they introduce pull-ups. This makes lots of sense to me, and toddlers do notice the difference. It is not necessary, but can be fun and solidify that this is a new stage. Avoid "big girl/boy night undies" or titles of that nature. They are not underwear, and children who hear too much "big boy/girl" often begin desiring baby treatment again. Just call it a pull-up.
If you have diapers left over but desire to do standing changes to help your child not have to be laid down like pre-potty training, fasten the diaper ahead of time and have your child step in. You can undo it the same way, unless there is poop of course.
Poop in the nap diaper
If your child is holding poop for the nap diaper, it’s okay! Sometimes this simply corrects on its own. If it is causing distress, or lasts more than 3 months over the age of 2 years old, then it should be addressed. There are multiple ways to do this. For further advice on this topic, check out my Poop Support Program at ohcrapwithashley.com/challenges or book a consult at ohcrapwithashley.com/book-online Customers who book a consult receive the Poop Support Program free, and customers who purchase the Poop Support Program receive $10 off a consultation.
***To be absolutely clear, these are all for very specific circumstances. The core Oh Crap! Potty Training approach does not use pull-ups; neither paper nor cloth. Jamie Glowacki does believe that there are situations where a pull-up or diaper might be a good choice. Use them sparingly if needed. Check out the Oh Crap! Potty Training Podcast for more from Jamie on the topic.
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